am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
