yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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