They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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