yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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