Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This is my gift to your gina
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
