I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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