my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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