he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize