i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
