I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
