Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
