THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
