Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
