I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
