i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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