We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
