then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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