I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
