I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
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to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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