my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize