He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
