Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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