I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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