Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
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