the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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