May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
