I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
