If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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