If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There r osticjed everywhere
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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