Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
