i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dicks are not precious.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
