If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This is classic penis vs brain.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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