I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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