sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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