Screwed.edu
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
