Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
