is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
