She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
