I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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