Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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