I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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