U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
