Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
