i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
