We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize