It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
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You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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