Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
