If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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