We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's official drugs can't kill me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
