How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
