im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
