Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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