Sponge bath it is.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
