its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Everything about him screamed your future.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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