we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
