Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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