There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
