There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
