Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize