David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is Oprah even human
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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