That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
