I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
