She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
