Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
