Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
