Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
